2/2/2020
Well, I wasn't kicked out of the program, but I am on academic suspension. I did well enough last semester to remain in. I didn't qualify for financial aid, though. This has made it really hard. What is the most impactful is that Michael decided to quit his job. I'm not really sure what made him think it was a good idea, but that is where we are. While in Florida for Grandma's curial, he kept getting calls from him boss. Turns out he never asked for the time off >:( Then, he has attempted to get two different jobs since, one after the other. The first should have damn near been a shoo-in but he acted like a weirdo in his video interview. The second job has made it pretty clear with not calling him back that they aren't interested but he keeps holding out. I'm absolutly fed up.
On the positive side, he finally made an appointment to see a psychiatrist about medication. He has been depressed for so long he doesn't even seem to know what life is like otherwise.
I'm pretty pissed at him right now because I was telling him I needed comforting for the things bothering me but it was apparent he hasn't been listening to me. I've spent so much time the last 3 weeks trying to hellp him that I haven't even been doing my homework. I ask for his time and he doesn't listen to what my concerns are. Then, when I call him on it, he throws a fit. I said "I don't have time or the energy to make this about you." So he says that it is me making it about him...What the hell does that mean? I said "I am not making it about you. I don't want to talk about you. I want you to listen to me and confort me with what is bothering me." So he says "fine" and then quits talking to me. How is that supposed to be comforting? Kudos to me, though, because I felt the panic attack coming on and so I got into the shower and let the hot water run on me. That seemed to help a lot. Now, I'm going to try to get my homework done.
12/14/19
I believe I will do poorly again this semester. I will be kicked out of the program, no doubt. I'm enjoying it mostly and learning so very much. But this being depressed kicked my butt. It is frustrating because the last couple of weeks I have been slowly feeling better, but it appears to be too little too late.
We got back from FL early this morning and I'm exhausted. Grandma's burial ceremony was nice. I'm still kicking myself over not having Emily attend the funeral. I've learned not to rely on the info Michael gives me especially if it comes from his Dad. The two of them are the worst communicators ever.
7/29/19
Whelp, it's sure been a while. I thought I was doing better but after the baby shower (all the messages that I needed to answer were about this; I was hosting) I fell back down. I haven't been doing much of anything. Haven't really skipped out on social obligations, so that's good. Ugh...
I'm particularly upset about the state of global affairs. I am scared about what is going to happen in the next 20 years or so. Americans are a bunch of uneducated potatoes and it breaks my heart. I didn't realize until recently how ingrained anti-intellectualism is in our culture.
Also upsetting is the lack of transparency at work recently. There have been some extremely poor things said and it seems only the ones being discriminated against are going to suffer the consequences.
7/2/19
Doing much better today. I am all caught up on communications with text and FB messenger. Now to just get the homework done for today! I replied to the message boards and had my post in on Sunday, so at least I only need to finish the Ch9 and Ch10 questions. They are pretty hard but I'll keep taking breaks and I just may finish it!
6/28/19
OK, I've made these comments into a separate page and titled it "Journal." I've got to be keeping better records of what's up. And, they don't make sense to be on the assignments page. This way, if someone wants to read them, they can. And if not, no probs.
I am not doing very well right now. I'm not sure what it is other than being overwhelmed. The daily stuff in life isn't more than it has been. It just is too much. I must simplify. Spending more time at home and less out doing things will help. Besides giving me more time to straighten up around here, it will save money. I will start cooking more, too.
I don't want to say the word, but I think I'm depressed. Everything in the world is just too much right now. Global happenings are getting me down. Then, on top of that, I'm worried about my family. I can't even answer the text messages I have received.
To try to do better and get through today, I am setting a timer to get up every 15 minutes for 5 minutes.
Regarding the assignment
Chapter 9, again
Why don't we do this in the library? Too much work, probably. We can just barely keep our heads above water as it is.
Page 192 has a great outline for the report. Follow this!
Chapter 10
This chapter is about evaluation as a business/career. I think there are sooooo many programs that need to be evaluated! I keep thinking about all of the times that I personally attend programs and think, "gosh, I wonder if anyone notices X" or "they need to fix Y and this program would be fantastic!" I bet if I start using these skills in my career, my programs will excel. Then I will be even better at my job!
Dude! $60,000 is a modest salary for evaluation?!
Feeling better as I go :) Just answered the text messages, too!
Appendix B, again
6/25/19
Chapter 5 - Choosing an Evaluation Model
That’s a lot of types of evaluations! I’m glad there is flexibility. I was hoping that I’d be able to tailor the needs. I don’t buy that Judy told them to break into groups. That sounds like a teacher giving assignments. I agree the group is too big to get things done. But I think that it is more of the issue of “too many cooks in the kitchen.”
Thankful for the expansion on research. It sucks that the book made inaccurate statements. It is nice that Prof points out inaccuracies. Last semester I had a class that wasn't like that. The book was all kinds of wrong but pointing it out, with sources, made the teacher annoyed...
102 - starts the models
I love that they use “data” correctly
Art criticism model? Eisner sounds smarrrrt. Or systems analysis
111 - evaluation design format
Chapters 6 and 7 - Data Sources and Data Analysis
123 - sweet flowchart showing input/output/outcomes
6/21/19
Chapter 3 mentions that the needs analysis phase should come before the program has been chosen. This is where I am with STEAM and the Camas Create Space. We have a space, we have some supplies, and we have a bit of money to spend. But what does programming for this room look like? I'm in exactly the right place to do a needs analysis. Not sure how this works but we'll see. Once I've identified the actual goals, I can start planning the key programs.
Then, once the programs are happening, it is time to look at how the programs are working, right from the start. This is the formative evaluation period. Don't wait for the final, summative evaluation, to start assessing the program! Table 3.1 has a breakdown of the cycle.
Chapter 4 has a really good point about how the evaluator's program description will look different from each of the evaluation recipients' view points. Knowing what the end goal is will help in making sure I've reached it. Does it look like success to the party that receives the EPD? Make sure that it does!
Chapter 9 starts out with a good point: giving the details of the evaluation to my boss helps her to stand up for this kind of programming in the future. It gives her the words to take to her boss, who takes it to their boss, who takes it to the board and mayor. I need my mayor to have the proof so they can always stand up for the library!
That evaluation report table is hard! Right now, I am only a tiny bit into filling it out! I can feel my brain stretching with thinking about it though, so I know it'll be really good information. I'm going to come back to it, tomorrow or the next day, though. I need to let this percolate longer.
6/19/19
Zoom Meeting
Keep it simple. Make sure the size of the project is reasonable and keep the survey short. Set a time-line. It'll be fine.
6/18/19
This paragraph will probably be edited but I have thoughts that need writing down and this is a good place to do it.
I think I need to change my project topic. Today I was assigned new tasks at work and I believe it will make for a great opportunity. I am now going to be creating programming for our new create space. Since I haven't even started the planning much, I can plan with evaluation in mind; it will be good practice.
I need to preform a needs analysis so that I can make sure that the programming fits with the needs of the public, rather than things I am interested in teaching.